Polish Jokes 波蘭笑話集翻譯 (4)
The Polish were entrenched on the front opposite the Germans during one of the battles of WWII.
As hard as they tried, the Germans couldn't hit any of the Polish soldiers
because they kept low in the ditches.
Finally one of the Germans hit upon an idea.
"Hey Krachevski, is that you?" he yelled at the Polish trench.
Krachevski stood up in his trench and said,
"Yeah, it's me!" and was immediately shot by the Germans.
The Polish soldiers pondered this over and decided that it was a good idea.
"Is that you, Wilhelm?" one of the Polish soldiers yelled to the German trench.
"Yeah, it's me Markowski," replied one of the German soldiers. "Why don't you come over here?"
"OK, I'm coming..."
Q: How do you get a one-armed Pole out of a tree?
A: Wave to him.
Q: Did you hear about the Pole who studied for 5 days?
A: He was scheduled to take a urine test.
Q: What's delaying the Polish space program?
A: Development of a working match.
Q: Why do Polish dogs have flat noses?
A: From chasing parked cars.
Q: What happened to the Polish National Library?
A: Someone stole the book.
Two Polish truck drivers are barreling along when they come up to an overpass.
A sign says, "Clearance: 11"2'."
So they get out, measure their truck,
and realize that it's 11"6'.
So the first Polak looks at the second Polak and says,
"I don't see any cops around....let's go for it!"
An Englishman, a Frenchman and a Pole were captured by the Germans and thrown into prison.
However, the guard was rather kind towards them, and said,
"I am going to lock you away for five years,
but I'll let you have anything you want now before I lock you up."
The Englishman says,
"I'll have five years' supply of beer!"
His wish is granted, and they lock him away with his beer.
The Frenchman says,
"I'll have five years' supply of brandy!"
His wish is granted, and they lock him away with his brandy.
The Pole says,
"I'll have five years' supply of cigarettes!"
His wish is granted, and they lock him away with his cigarettes.
Five years later, the Germans come to release their prisoners.
First, they release the Englishman, who staggers out totally drunk.
Then, they release the Frenchman, who also rolls out rather inebriated.
Then, they release the Pole, who comes out and says, "Has anyone got a light?"
An Italian, an American, and a Pole were captured by the French
for various crimes and are taken to the Guillotine.
The executioner places the Italian on the block and asks if he has any last words.
The Italian replies, "I pray to the Virgin Mary that I may live."
They drop the blade, and it stops a mere inch above the Italian's neck.
Amazed, the French let him go.
Next, the American is put in position and asked if he has any final words.
He replies, "In the name of Jesus Christ, please have mercy."
They drop the blade, and again it stops just an inch from the American's neck.
In disbelief, they let him go free.
Then the Pole is placed on the block, and they ask if he has any last words.
He says, "Yeah. You've got a knot in your rope."
A 12-year-old boy comes up to the Polish man and says,
"I was looking in your bedroom window last night
and I saw you and your wife doing it. Nyah, nyah, nyah!"
The Pole answers,
"The joke's on you kid, Nyah, nyah,nyah!
I wasn't even home last night."
Two Polish bowling teams charter a double-decker bus
to go to Atlantic City for the weekend.
One team is in the bottom of the bus,
and the other team is in the top of the bus.
The team down below is whooping it up when one of them realizes he doesn't hear anything from the top.
He walks up the stairs,
and here are all the guys from the second team clutching the seats in front of them
with white knuckles, scared ot death.
"What the heck's goin' on? We're down here havin' a grand old time."
One of the guys from the second team says,
"Yeah, but you guys've got a driver."
double-decker bus 雙層巴士。
An American is walking down the street
when he sees a Polak with a very long pole and a yardstick.
He's standing the pole on its end
and trying to reach the top of it with his yardstick.
Seeing the Polak's ignorance,
the American wrenches the pole out of his hand,
lays it on the sidewalk, measures it with the yardstick,
and says, "There! 10 feet long."
The Polak grabs the yardstick and shouts,
"You idiot American! I don't care how long it is! I want to know how high it is!"
Two Polish hunters were driving through the country to go bear hunting.
They came upon a fork in the road where a sign read "BEAR LEFT"
so they went home.
A Polak, a black guy, and a white guy were driving through the desert
when they suddenly ran out of gas.
They all decided to start walking to the nearest town to get some help.
A rancher was sitting on his front porch that evening
when he saw the white guy top the horizon and walk toward him.
The rancher noticed that the white guy was carrying a glass of water,
so when he was within hearing distance, the rancher said,
"Hi there...what are you doing carring a glass of water through the desert?"
The white guy explained his predicament and explained that
since he had a long way to go, he might get thirsty, so that's why he was carrying the water.
A little while later the rancher noticed the black guy walking toward him
with a loaf of bread in his hand.
"What are you doing?" asked the rancher again.
As before, the black guy explained the situation and said that
since he had a long way to go, he might get hungry and that's why he had the bread.
Finally the Polak appeared, dragging a car door through the sand.
More curious than ever, the rancher asked, "Hey, why are you dragging that car door?"
"Well," said the Polak, "I have a long way to go, so if it gets too hot, I'll roll down the window."
註：loaf 是用在麵包的量詞 (一條或一塊)。
Did you hear about the latest Polish invention?
It's a solar-powered flashlight.
註：solar是太陽光，神奇寶貝草系的招式太陽光束就是solar beam (日文ソーラービーム)。